I almost went to see the new Conan movie today. But, finally chickened out when I read this quote in a review "the audience I saw it with didn't so much leave the theatre as recoil from the theatre."
I went. It wasn't as good as Conan the Destroyer, by a narrow margin, but it was certainly better than most of the other sword & sorcery movies that have come out in a long time. It was very close to being great, but missed it by this much. The guy playing Conan would have been more convincing if he had an accent, but otherwise wasn't bad.
As for the audiences, everybody in the theater I was in enjoyed it. All three of us. Yeah, I just hope this doesn't kill the idea of doing another another conan type movie.
Yeah, the 'great' part, now that I think about it, was a little bit too much. There were parts that were great (like the part with Conan as a kid), but after having some time to think about it a little bit, it does sort of remind me of an episode of 'Hercules: The Legendary Journies', if it were done by Cinemax or Starz.
I'd say it's a 2.5 out of 5. If you have a desire to watch it, it should be in the dollar theater in a couple weeks or so.
But the "Young Conan " cried like a little Sissie while his dad was dying...Cried like a Sissie! That's no Conan I know... Oh yeah, and he kept getting beat up.
Dave, if you're reading this, and you really give a crap about this movie being a surprise, you shouldn't read the next bit.
You're right Bob. Conan shouldn't have been crying there, like his father shouldn't have been crying when he cut Conan from his mom's belly (it really would have been cool if old monkey face Ron Perlman there had turned, and waded through the battle field slaughtering guys with his sword in one hand, and baby Conan in the other). Cimmerians don't cry, they get other people to cry for them.
It just occurred to me that the one scene in the movie I thought was completely badass (the end of the egg race, young Conan doused in the blood of his enemies, and carrying the heads of his ambushers), was the result of a silly summer camp test of manhood. What the hell kind of Cimmerians test their children with eggs in the mouth, running up and around a mountain?
One of the guys at work that watched Conan (I should say the ONE guy at work that watched Conan) really liked it. He thought it delivered exactly what it promised. Blood, boobs, and swords. How well it delivered it, is something else. But he did bring up one point I hadn't considered: Most people just don't care about Conan anymore. And basically this movie made the few people who did care about Conan, care a little less.
I went. It wasn't as good as Conan the Destroyer, by a narrow margin, but it was certainly better than most of the other sword & sorcery movies that have come out in a long time. It was very close to being great, but missed it by this much. The guy playing Conan would have been more convincing if he had an accent, but otherwise wasn't bad.
ReplyDeleteAs for the audiences, everybody in the theater I was in enjoyed it. All three of us. Yeah, I just hope this doesn't kill the idea of doing another another conan type movie.
Bob here...
ReplyDeleteI went to see it in the afternoon yesterday. Jason is being very generous in his review. I can still smell the stink.
Yeah, the 'great' part, now that I think about it, was a little bit too much. There were parts that were great (like the part with Conan as a kid), but after having some time to think about it a little bit, it does sort of remind me of an episode of 'Hercules: The Legendary Journies', if it were done by Cinemax or Starz.
ReplyDeleteI'd say it's a 2.5 out of 5. If you have a desire to watch it, it should be in the dollar theater in a couple weeks or so.
Bob Says...
ReplyDeleteBut the "Young Conan " cried like a little Sissie while his dad was dying...Cried like a Sissie! That's no Conan I know... Oh yeah, and he kept getting beat up.
Dave, if you're reading this, and you really give a crap about this movie being a surprise, you shouldn't read the next bit.
ReplyDeleteYou're right Bob. Conan shouldn't have been crying there, like his father shouldn't have been crying when he cut Conan from his mom's belly (it really would have been cool if old monkey face Ron Perlman there had turned, and waded through the battle field slaughtering guys with his sword in one hand, and baby Conan in the other). Cimmerians don't cry, they get other people to cry for them.
It just occurred to me that the one scene in the movie I thought was completely badass (the end of the egg race, young Conan doused in the blood of his enemies, and carrying the heads of his ambushers), was the result of a silly summer camp test of manhood. What the hell kind of Cimmerians test their children with eggs in the mouth, running up and around a mountain?
There"were" brief flashes of what Conan should have been like, then it goes all weak and pussyfied. Crooooooom!
ReplyDeleteOne of the guys at work that watched Conan (I should say the ONE guy at work that watched Conan) really liked it. He thought it delivered exactly what it promised. Blood, boobs, and swords. How well it delivered it, is something else. But he did bring up one point I hadn't considered: Most people just don't care about Conan anymore. And basically this movie made the few people who did care about Conan, care a little less.
ReplyDelete