RHYLANOR
PLANETARY DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC SAFETY
TO:
Colonel Gun Lee, Detective Skip Jockly, Jax Tyvoid, Chum Lee, Doctor
Horatio Spurlock, Captain Travis Bentley
, Bill Watson, Simon Wahabi, Louis Fishbeen, Rodrigo Cortez,
Albert Mufasa, Francis Polaski, and “Big
Lou” Williams.
FROM: Judge Randolph P. Sakamoro, 3rd Circuit Court, Rhylanor
RE: Incident in
Space Denny’s 233, yesterday
DATE:
Year 1111---Day 117
Gentlemen, after consulting the Omni-Eye 10,000 crime
monitoring computer, the criminal actions that occurred yesterday have been
adjudicated and sentences have been passed.
Captain Bentley, Mr. Watson, Mr. Wahabi, Mr. Fishbeen,
Mr. Cortez and Mr. Mufasa, you have all been found guilty of attempted armed
robbery, assault with a deadly weapon and breaking the peace against the
persons of Francis Polaski and his above named acquaintances. You have all been sentenced to 15 years in
the Magic Joyful Educational Fun Center, and have 7 days to report to the
nearest police station to begin serving your sentences (once you have all been
released from the hospital).
Doctor Spurlock, you have been found guilty of assault
with a deadly weapon and armed robbery against the person and property of
Francis Polaski and have been sentenced to serve 20 years in the Magic Joyful
Education Fun Center. You have seven
days to report to the nearest police station to begin serving your sentence.
Colonel Gun Lee, you have been found guilty of
receiving stolen property (namely a briefcase which you accepted into bailment
by deactivating the circuits of your carrying robot). You have been sentenced to 180 days in the
Magic Joyful Education Fun Center, and have 7 days to report to the nearest
police station to begin to serve your sentence.
Detective Jockly, Chum Lee, Mr. Tyvoid, Mr. Polaski,
and Mr. Williams, you have been found innocent of all charges, having acted in
self-defense.
The contents of the briefcase in question cannot be
legally determined, since the court has no cause for a warrant to access the
Omni-Eye to determine those facts.
Sentenced Felons are reminded that your I.D. codes,
biometric data, facial recognition are on file across the planet and at the
star port exit terminals and that flight of the jurisdiction is impossible.
OMNI-EYE: There is No Unsolved Violent Crime on
Rhylanor
Dang! That Ol' Doc Spurlock is one Bad Mutha! He HACKED a man down from behind for a suitcase full of credits. But he's a wily old man. Maybe we'll see him sooner than we think. If not, BIGGER SHARES! Woo!
ReplyDeleteSee what happens when some helpful old man decides to try to be a badass all of a sudden.
ReplyDeleteSo obviously, at this point, we've got two choices:
We can go quietly along with with the orders. I suspect that Ol' Doc Spurlock, despite his advanced age and especially on a tech level 15 planet, would probably still have decades to live beyond the end of his sentence. Of course, through the happy fun camp the authorities might find out that the whole rest of the group is involved with the black market sale of the pirate ship.
Or we can try to pull off some bullshit attempt at trying to sneak, sleeze, or fight our way to the ship off the planet with all our supplies for making our ship work right.
Me, I like Doc Spurlock, but he's not entirely irreplacable.