Monday, October 31, 2011

The War Lord (1965)

I watched a movie this weekend called "The War Lord", starring Charlton Heston, from 1965.  I remember having seen it once 20-30 years ago and wanting to see it again.  It wasn't available on domestic DVD lately, and wasn't available on Netflix when I had that.   But, they played it on Encore Action recently and I TiVoed it.

It was a historical fiction piece, Charlton was a Norman knight in the 11th century, sent by his duke to defend a tower in the swamp country in Brittany.   When he arrives he fights off a raid by Frisians (first cousins to Vikings more or less).   His midget-clown captures the Frisian chief's son, but doesn't tell Charlton his rank.   Charlton, his brother, and their flunkies take over the tower and meet the peasant scum.  At first all is cool, then Charlton falls in love with the pig girl.   He also finds out that the peasants practice druidic paganism at night after the church services.   He then uses the old pagan custom of "rite of the master" to claim the pig woman for the night, on the night of her wedding.  The peasants are willing to put up with this, but the Christian priest and Charlton's brother are both outraged. 

Then, Charlton and the pig girl decide they are in love and he doesn't give her back to her husband in the morning.   The peasants are outraged.   Also, Charlton's brother abuses the midget-clown and enrages him.

Up to this point it had been pretty unbearable.  A lot of hair-pulling and flagrant mopery.   I had hoped the action would start up soon and it did.   The midget-clown convinces the peasants to send word the Frisians that the Normans had the chief's son as a slave in the tower.   An alliance of peasants and Frisians show up and beseige the tower.

I can't adequately describe how uncool the action was in the tower seige.   I've seen a lot of historcial action movies from the 60's that were pretty good (Spartacus, the Vikings, and El Cid to name a few).  But this was just dull.   I think more than anything it was the music.   The music actually made the action duller than it would have otherwise been.

Well, it ended up Charlton's brother riding away and bringing back help to raise the siege.  But, he acts like a total dick-hole and Charlton stabs him to death.   He then gives the Frisian boy back to his father, but then pig girl's husband stabs Charlton, who rides off into the sunset presumably to a slow death.

I now know why they rarely show this film and there hasn't been a huge demand for its release on DVD.   Lame, weak.

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